


The Faces We Rarely Show

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Badass Phasma, Character Death Fix, Eventual Romance, F/M, Feelings Realization, Kylo Ren is a Mess, Kylo Ren is awkward as hell, Not Canon Compliant - Star Wars: The Last Jedi, References to Phasma comic, References to Phasma novel, author also still has strong opinions about tlj, author takes liberties with space physics, i dont make the rules i just enforce them, no beta we die like rare pair fans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-18 10:06:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21892363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: -A TLJ fix-it where Phasma saves herself and both her and Kylo Ren learn things about each other that neither expected to learn.-For the first time since she had climbed out of the hole in the ship hull, she allowed herself to take a deep breath, hoping to relish in the supply of oxygen that was now available to her. But she was short. Phasma suddenly felt as if the nothingness was still creeping in through her suit. Taking off her helmet she attempted another deep breath, but it still felt wrong and her body reacted.
Relationships: Phasma & Kylo Ren, Phasma/Kylo Ren
Comments: 10
Kudos: 11





	The Faces We Rarely Show

**Author's Note:**

> So, I know TROS literally just came out, but 1. I know nothing about it (for now), and 2. I wrote this basically a few months after I saw TLJ in the beginning of 2018. I found it again among my drafts recently and liked it well enough to post it. A couple things you should probably know before going in is that this fic contains some slight references to the Phasma comic and novel and assumes the first time Phasma shows up in TLJ takes place not too long after the end of the comic. It also uses one of my headcanons that BB-9e is Phasma's droid. Then finally, please excuse the liberties I take with the physics of space and vacuums in the beginning. I absolutely know that this isn't how the vacuum of space works, but hey, it's a fanfiction.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

It was all on fire. And it was all too familiar. Suddenly, like a few days prior, Phasma was stuck at the bottom of a hole, while everything around her was burning. The only problem was that, this time, she was hanging out of the bottom of a flaming ship that was falling apart and she was dangerously close to losing breath as the vacuum of space began creeping its way through the hole in her visor and around the burned skin of her face. She was simply lucky that the vacuum hadn’t sucked her out of the ship in the first place, but now she had to hope luck continued on her side as she willed herself to pull her dangling body back into the ship. 

As she lay on the floor a short distance away from the hole, feeling the air and everything around her fly around the hull of the ship, Phasma had to remind herself where she had come from. She had proven to herself and others across many years that she was a survivor, and now, she certainly was not going to let this situation get the best of her. 

She had to get to an escape pod. If any were left. 

Feeling light of breath Phasma pushed herself up off the floor and quickly looked at her surroundings. She knew just about every inch of this ship, meaning she knew exactly how far away the nearest escape pod should be. And as luck would once again have it, it wasn’t far. 

Looking for the quickest way to the level above hers, Phasma tried to make her way towards the only ladder on the level that she had spotted on the other side of the hole she had just almost fallen through. Glaring, she made her way around it and traveled up the ladder before she looked for another knowing there was a set of escape pods on the level just above her. 

Running as fast as she could through the hallway she located the next ladder and made her way up it. Looking around the level she then spotted the hallway that contained the pods and determinedly began to walk towards them. As she opened the door she almost let out a sigh of relief as she found that this set of pods had been completely untouched. 

Then, as Phasma shut herself inside of one and released the pod from the ship, for the first time since she had climbed out of the hole in the ship hull, she allowed herself to take a deep breath, hoping to relish in the supply of oxygen that was now available to her. But she was short. Phasma suddenly felt as if the nothingness was still creeping in through her suit. Taking off her helmet she attempted another deep breath, but it still felt wrong and her body reacted. Her breathing sped and suddenly she was looking around the console of the pod for the comms system. 

Pressing the button to broadcast as far as she could, she found herself yelling into the speaker, “Ren! Hux!”

Releasing the button, all she heard was static for a few moments. She was about to press the button and try again when she heard a crackled “Captain..?” over the communication line. It was Ren.

“Where are you?” She yelled again.

There was another hesitation before she got a response back, “We’re in a transport ship. Where are _you_?”

“In an escape pod off the ship. Come get me!” Phasma found herself lacking any sort of patience for the only two idiots she called her superiors.

“Give us a moment. We’ll find you.” Ren told her before all Phasma heard over the communication line was static once more.

Sitting down in the pod, Phasma tried once more to control her breathing, and when she once again failed she found herself trying to ignore the burning in her lungs and the way her vision was now impaired. But she didn’t allow herself to press her hand to her face where the knew the burned flesh was. Picking up her helmet from where she had placed it before, Phasma turned it just so that she could see the broken eye of her visor. Glaring, she shoved it back on over her head knowing Ren and Hux would be along shortly. She was determined to retain at least part of her dignity even if it meant showing off her new battle wound. Besides, she wasn’t exactly in any condition or position to be threatening either of them if they had suddenly found out what she had looked like. It was none of their business.

It wasn’t long before Phasma could see the lights of the transport ship pushing their way through the window of her pod and finally, slowly but surely, she was able to make her way onto the transport. She didn’t expect any sort of reaction out of Hux or Ren when they saw her, however it had been the first time Phasma had seen Ren since their time on Starkiller Base, and his reaction to her was certainly out of turn. 

Phasma wasn’t wonderfully attuned to others emotions but she was able to feel the wave of concern that had rushed off of Kylo and towards her when he saw her and her broken visor. 

“What happened?” he asked her. While he didn’t exactly rush towards her, he did make it to her at a quicker rate than Hux did, and it only confused Phasma. Maybe the fire and lack of oxygen had gotten to her head.

“I was almost burned alive, and then I was almost sucked into space. Move. Let me sit.” She said, pushing Ren aside to find a seat. Hux stared at her and she glared back despite knowing the only eye he could see was the more gruesome of the two.

She watched as Ren moved to stand next to where she was sat and in surprisingly calm voice he asked “Is your face okay? Perhaps you should take off-” 

“Captain, we are headed to back to the our still remaining ship, perhaps you should take a visit to the medbay while Ren and I handle the Resistance.” Hux interrupted him.

As much as she hated Hux and the suggestion of staying behind while these two idiots went after the Resistance, she was almost grateful for his interruption. It didn’t matter how she felt or what her face looked like. She wasn’t taking off this helmet until she was secure in a room that only contained medical droids. It gave her the luxury of wiping their information on her later.

As their transport docked the First Order frigate, the three walked off the ship and stood to observe many of Phasma's troops as they marched off the ship after them. Many of them didn’t give her a second look, nor did they point out her broken visor.

Ren turned and looked between her and Hux, “General, while I lead the Captain to the med-bay, you will prep the troops and our transports. We are headed after the Resistance.”

“Of course, Supreme Leader.” Hux said, rather reluctantly.

Phasma paused. That would be something to address later.

“I can take myself to the med-bay, I rather think I know the way.”

Ren stared at her, “I’m taking you myself.”

Remembering the entire First Order suddenly had a view of part of her face, Phasma restrained herself from rolling her eyes and followed Ren towards the medical rooms aboard their ship. However, before they could make it down one of the hallways they were stopped by loud, overestatic beeping. 

Turning around Phasma watched as her BB-unit droid was hastily rolling towards her. However before they could come to a complete stop in front of her, the droid was pushing itself against Kylo’s legs repeatedly.

“BB-9e!” Phasma commanded.

The droid stopped and swiveled its head to look at her before beeping loudly a few more times.

“Yes, I am glad to see you as well.” Phasma told the droid. Bending down slightly, she quickly fixed the antenna atop the droids head, and it seemed that they had noticed the burning around her eye. BB-9e beeped at her once more.

Phasma stared at her droid, the only thing among the First Order that knew what she looked like underneath her helmet, and she sighed, “I’m fine.”

Standing back up, ignoring the way Ren was looking between her and the droid she waved her hand at the BB-unit and began walking towards the hall once more, “Come along.” she said, both to Ren and to BB-9e. 

She could still feel the tightness in her chest.

Eventually they made their way into the med-bay and Ren immediately called over a few of the med-droids and explained what had happened to Phasma, but before they could do anything to her, Phasma had to repeatedly insist that she take one of the private rooms she knew they had. She paid no attention as Ren stared at her while two droids led her to a singular bed, but she did notice how he managed to slip into the room behind BB-9e. And she officially had to make another protest as one of the medical droids reached for her helmet in order to remove it.

Leaning away from the droid she simply looked at Ren and said, “No.”

“Captain-”

“No. I only want a single medical droid to ever enter this room, and if I see another I will scream.”

Ren frowned but sent away the other medical droid anyway. She was almost concerned he would try to send away BB-9e as well, but it seemed he understood that the droid was of importance to her. Or at least that the droid thought she was important to them. Besides, she had a sneaking suspicion that if Kylo had tried to send BB-9e out of the room, BB-9e would be very… vocal with their protest.

She watched then as Ren attempted to sit down in the singular chair that sat in the room. She protested again.

“No.”

Ren looked at her. It was clear he was confused.

“You too. Leave.” She said, pointing at the door out of the room.

Ren squinted at her, clearly upset by her demand, but she found that she rather didn’t care what he thought of it. Quickly he stood and before he made his way out of the room he turned to speak to her.

“Fine. I have another duty to attend to anyway.” He said, acting as if her request hadn’t offended him.

Phasma glared at the doorway as he made his exit, but once he was finished she turned to the remaining medical droid in the room and simply stated, “You may proceed.”

* * *

Hours later, after the events on Crait against the Resistance base, Kylo Ren was making his way towards the med-bay. He planned on checking on Phasma, and seeing how she was after what had happened aboard the _Supremacy._ Considering the burn damage to her face, and likely damage to her lungs caused not only by smoke but also lack of oxygen from when she had fallen, Kylo expected her to, hopefully, be asleep. However, knowing this woman, he knew there was a possibility she could be awake still.

For his own sake, he kind of hoped she wasn’t.

In either case he knew he would likely have a hard time getting past BB-9e. The droid hated him, and Kylo could only describe the thing as Phasma’s attack droid. At least when it came to him, and he definitely wasn’t surprised when it had started rampaging into his legs after Kylo, Phasma, and Hux had gotten on board a few hours prior.

Knocking on the mechanical door outside of Phasma’s room, Kylo watched as it opened slightly. Seeing no one standing there, he looked down to the floor only to see BB-9e on the other side of the door looking at him. Ren glared at the droid.

“Can I come in?” He asked rather impatiently.

BB-9e beeped at him a few more times.

“No? Is she sleeping?”

Kylo frowned as he listened to the droid beep at him once more, “Then maybe you should keep your beeping down. You might wake her.”

BB-9e stared at him, and Ren could feel the offense flowing off of the droid. 

Ignoring what the droid had said about not allowing him inside, Kylo pushed the door open farther and stepped over the droid. Entering the room he looked up and in plain view he saw Phasma lying on the bed asleep. He froze. Phasma, while still wearing the rest of her armor, had taken her helmet off and had an oxygen mask over her mouth and nose. He could tell the med-droid had applied something to her burn because the redness had gone down by quite a lot.

Ren then made the sudden realization that this was the first time he had seen the woman with her helmet off, and as he took in her pale face and blonde hair he suddenly felt as if he was definitely not meant to be staring. Instead he turned to look around at the rest of the room. Eventually he noticed her helmet was still there. 

Picking it up he looked at the broken visor. Turning to briefly look at Phasma once more, Kylo swiftly exited the room, intending to have the helmet fixed before Phasma was able to leave the med-bay.

* * *

When Phasma woke in the bed she had been sentenced to, she could tell that she had been out for multiple hours at this point. It was expected, especially after the events aboard the _Supremacy_ , and the fact that the medical droid assigned to her had insisted she take a pain medication that made her drowsy. However, what she didn’t expect was to find Kylo Ren sitting on the only chair in her room. 

She made the realization that he was there quickly after she had opened her eyes and suddenly, as she took off her oxygen mask, she was looking around the room for where her helmet had gone. Not finding it, she purposefully turned away from Ren, attempting to hide most of her face.

“What are you doing?” She asked. Her voice was sharp.

“I… came to check on you. It looks like your burn is healing nicely…. It would be best, as well, if you would put your mask back on. Our medical droid here doesn’t think you’ve fully recovered yet. I’m… also here to make sure no one else comes into the room.”

Before Phasma could linger on his comments, she heard BB-9e suddenly beep quite loudly.

“They’re right. That was BB-9e’s job.” Phasma rolled her eyes.

“I was able to step right over them. I’m not sure you appointed a very good guard, Captain.” 

She could heard the humor in his voice, “If I may ask, _Sir_ , where is my helmet?”

Ren hesitated, “I took it to be fixed.”

Phasma looked over her shoulder towards Ren, still attempting to hide most of her face

“Is there something currently wrong with you? You know, besides the usual.”

“Surely, I don’t know what you mean.” 

Rolling over completely, Phasma glared at Ren. In one hand she was clutching her oxygen mask, while she lifted the other and motioned with a finger for Ren to come closer to her.

Ren hesitated once more, but eventually stood to walk closer to Phasma, and once he was close enough she grabbed at his collar and dragged him even closer. Their cheeks were practically touching.

“You tell anyone… about what you’ve seen, and I will, with no hesitation, murder you.”

Ren’s breathing quickened before she could let go of his collar, but as he moved to sit back down, Phasma knew they now had an understanding. Ren was suddenly avoiding her eyes and if Phasma was being perfectly honest, it kind of made her happy. Smiling, she pushed the oxygen mask back over her nose and mouth, taking a few deep breaths into it. Looking at Ren she could practically see the gears turning inside his head before he looked back at her, eyes wide.

“Understood.” He told her, voice an octave higher than normal, before he looked away once more.

 _I know,_ Phasma thought to herself. 

After taking a few more breaths into the mask, Phasma pulled it away from her face again, “Ren.”

“Hmm?” Ren, still slightly wide-eyed and worried, snapped to look at her.

“Why did Hux call you ‘Supreme Leader’ earlier?”

Ren’s expression softened, “The girl. She murdered Snoke.” he told her before he quickly looked away.

Placing the mask back over her face, Phasma simply rose an eyebrow at the man. She knew he was lying. However, at this moment she didn’t exactly want to go into the implications of what Kylo killing Snoke meant. Or at least, at this point, she fully believed it had been Kylo. She would just have to confirm that later.

After a few moments of breathing into her mask, Phasma sat up on her bed and once more took the mask off her face so she could speak, “Okay. When can I leave? They’ve put bacta on my face and I’ve taken an entire nap while breathing into this dumb mask.”

Ren blinked at her, “Oh. No. You can’t leave yet.”

Phasma rose an eyebrow, “What?”

“I…. Like I said, the med-droid doesn’t think you’ve fully recovered yet. So you’re going to be here for a bit longer.” Ren paused, “You might as well get comfortable. Are you sure you don’t want to take your armor off”

Phasma looked down at herself before she directed her attention to Ren once more, “You’ve already seen my face, today. Let’s not get carried away.” 

Ren blinked and looked away, “Of course.”

Leaning back, Phasma put the oxygen mask back over her face and decided to limit the amount of talking she would do, hoping to speed up the process of her getting out of this room. It wasn’t before long, however, that she learned it was something she could definitely get away with as Kylo eventually found himself comfortable enough with her to start babbling like a child.

“Wait. I haven’t seen you in three days, where have you been?” He asked her at first.

Phasma simply rose an eyebrow and glared at him

“Right…. None of my business.” Ren offered, as Phasma nodded, “Maybe I should catch you up with what happened then.”

Phasma shrugged at him. At this point she wasn’t sure she exactly wanted Ren to be comfortable enough with her to just start talking. Or if she was okay with listening to him talk for lengthy periods of time. She already could barely handle when Hux did it.

“Well, you tolerate me enough to let me in here and I have no filter so I’m going to whether you want me to or not.” Ren told her.

Phasma rolled her eyes but listened anyway as Ren started on his rant about everything that had happened since the destruction of Starkiller Base. She didn’t expect much, and she didn’t learn much. Phasma had been present for the destruction of their dreadnought and it seemed as if that was the only important news worth knowing as of what happened between her trip off StarKiller Base to her trip back to the _Supremacy_. However, it seemed as if what she and Ren constituted as important information was very different. 

Ren continually ranted about Hux and his lack of ability to take Ren seriously as an authority figure, and as much as Phasma thought Ren was acting childish, she could say only one thing about it all. She agreed with Ren’s personal opinion of Hux. Sure, she often attempted to play nice with the General, but she, like Kylo it seemed, could not stand the man. And soon after all the ranting, Phasma found herself relaxing slightly in Ren’s presence.

It wasn’t before long that his ranting ended, however, and Ren was looking at her expectantly. 

“What?” She asked, unsure what he wanted from her.

Looking away, as if embarrassed, Ren cooly tried to play it off, “Oh, nothing.” He hesitated for a moment, something Phasma had never seen him do so much of until today. His eyes flickered between her and the floor for a long moment before Phasma realized what he was doing.

Sighing into her breathing mask, she lifted it from her face in order to speak once more, “Why are you so interested in my face?” She asked harshly. She had little to no respect for authority today, which rather seemed to fit Ren’s lack of respect for personal boundaries.

“I don’t know. This is the first time I’ve seen it.”

“Yeah, it’s the first time the med droids seen it too but frankly I don’t think they care.”

“Wait. What?”

“You heard me earlier. You know what I mean.”

Ren paused for a moment, as if trying to think of what to say next, “Yeah? What about BB-9e.” He asked, as if trying to be clever

Phasma glared at him, “BB-9e was the only being who knew what I looked like until you barged in. You’re lucky I somehow trust you more than I would ever trust Hux.”

“Why?”

“Why, what?”

“Why do you hide?”

Phasma’s eyes went wide for a moment as she glared at Ren for what he had just said to her.

“It’s not hiding. And it’s for the same reason you lied to me earlier about Snoke’s death.”

In that moment she heard Kylo take in a large breath, and that was when Phasma knew he understood. It was about survival and perhaps a bit of trust, something Phasma didn’t intend to give away without thinking.

“Why did you kill him?”

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t, I just would like to perhaps understand more of your motivations.”

Ren hesitated, but then looked at Phasma for a brief moment before he spoke, “Put your mask back on and I’ll tell you.”

Phasma rolled her eyes and watched Ren smirk at her as she places the breathing mask back over her face.

“I had hoped to turn the girl to our side. She’s strong in the Force, I thought she could be an asset to us, especially now that Skywalker is dead.”

Phasma squinted at Ren for a moment, “You shouldn’t be placing any sort of trust in that girl. You’re both trying to turn the other and it’s not going to work.”

“Mask.”

Phasma rolled her eyes again.

“I know that now, but Snoke manipulated the two of us. He forced a connection between the us using the Force.”

“A connection?”

“We were able to see and feel each other through the Force, I’ve never experienced it quite like that before, but a connection between two Force-sensitive beings can be strangely… intimate.”

Phasma cringed as she felt a slight spark of jealousy at hearing Ren describe the connection like that, yet she couldn’t place why she suddenly felt such a way. Then, as if in response to what she had felt, Ren spoke again.

“I rather think I prefer your company, however.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“Too bad.” Ren looked at her again, this time for a long moment, as if studying her face, before he squinted at her.

“What?” Phasma demanded.

“I’ve just realized how blue your eyes are.”

Then, as if nothing had happened, Ren stood and began out the door to Phasma’s room, “I’m going to go retrieve your helmet. I’ll send in the med-droid to check you over again, but you should keep the breathing mask on.”

Phasma rapidly blinked at the now closing door, not understanding what had just happened. Was Ren trying to get close to her? Or was he simply trying to mess with her? 

Phasma turned away from the door and breathed into her mask, waiting patiently for the med-droid while trying not to think about what had just happened. Her trust in Ren was slowly growing despite her best efforts to remain alone, and she couldn’t understand why Ren was suddenly prying for more of her trust in the first place. Did he really trust her enough himself to tell her all of that while Hux presumably remained in the dark and Ren continued to know very little about her?

Phasma suddenly found herself hoping he wouldn’t try to ask too many questions of her, yet was also hoping that once she was out of the med-bay that they would continue having conversations as they just had.

* * *

As Kylo exited the med-bay to go retrieve Phasma’s helmet from repair, he found himself mentally kicking himself. He knew he trusted Phasma far more than he trusted Hux, but this? He had just told her far more than he ever intended to while practically gawking at her. Sure this was the first time he had ever seen her face, and sure she was, as Kylo could admit, attractive, but that certainly didn’t mean anything. They were at war and he needed to do better. 

It was too bad that he still found himself wanting to be in her company more often. After not seeing her for three days and still having no clue as to where she was off to after the destruction of StarKiller Base, Ren had found himself actually missing her. He had been almost overjoyed (even if slightly confused) when he received her comm requesting he and Hux come pick her up. Maybe it was just because he found her wit rivaled Hux’s better than his ever could. Or maybe it was because he needed someone to talk to and he knew that someone would never be Hux. Or maybe it was because he found himself actually having the most unfortunate crush on this woman. Oh dear- 

Suddenly the entire situation he had just dealt with felt stupid. He found himself feeling used and idiotic as he realized he had let himself indulge in his forced connection to Rey far too much. He felt disgusted. Yet he still felt embarrassed. Phasma was right, he should never have found himself hoping he could turn the girl. She was far too attached to the Resistance, Skywalker, and Ben Solo’s mother. His mother….

Speeding up his pace, Ren found himself reaching repair far quicker than necessary.

**Author's Note:**

> Update: 07/07/20 - I've had to orphan this fic for personal reasons, I apologize.


End file.
